Random Disclosure Thread

[nob]

The "blob" didnt.

[banjo]

Kiddies wondering about which gender to opt for being given a vote? I know that's not politically correct and will upset those "struggling with their identity" (and some of their woke loved ones too), but I just wish folks would be satisfied with their lot.

でつ e&oe ...

[banjo]

Imagine for a moment how the close Brexit vote would have gone if all the typically motivated and inherently reactionary 16-18 demographic had been enfranchised? It was not unheard of them to gripe about what the old 'uns who had maybe 15-20 years left had awarded them. If they'd had the vote, with the novelty factor you would have seen a virtual 100% turn out in that age group. Even worse, they would be champing at the bit for a second referendum ...

でつ e&oe ...

[banjo]

I went to MERITYRE last Monday for a new mid-section exhaust. (They'd put a new back box on a year ago.) I was told that it would have to be ordered in and I could leave the car with them on Friday, or I could come today (Tuesday) for a while-you-wait. The guy was quite nice. Today I got yer bog standard irritating motor trade snearing scrote. He told me to leave it with them. I explained as above so he scuttled off to talk to someone and through the glass partition I heard them the fitter say "it must be that one there." looking at a new pipe in a pile. When he returned I reminded him that I was offered the option to drop it off and leave it with them on Friday and that's why I opted for the Tuesday. He came back and told me I'd have to wait for a couple of hours because "there's already one up on the ramp and he'll be on that one for an hour". What choice does anyone have? What's the point of making an appointment? What's even the point of talking to these phuckwits? You're dealing with abject idiots. Cue mental image of a no-neck knuckle-dragger with a lump hammer. I then proceeded to watch one customer after another come in and he really tried to help both them and telephone callers with tyre and battery problems. The staff are even sitting around on customer waiting room chairs as I write. Here's the elephant in the room- there's very little choice. Kwikfit? Never again. ATS? No branches within 20-30 miles that aren't in the low emission zone. Anyway- it's the motor trade. If you lucky enough to find a sentient individual then you need to cultivate an association.

I go back to when they put an exhaust on my VW Transporter a few years ago. They declared that the part had to be ordered in and an appointment was duly arranged. Come the day they "removed" the old exhaust in their time-saving way with an air chisel and club hammer (so beyond the point of reinstallation?) Then they advised that they'd ordered the incorrect part and there was no option other than to leave it there. Best Beloved had to drive over to collect me. It was done the next day so I don't understand why I had to wait eight days just for a part to come in with the Nissan. I can see their point- accidents do occur but it was their phuck-you-it's-your-problem attitude when it was caused by their own stupid incompetence that hissed me off.

Merityre has a few a few branches locally but I don't imagine they are a well known national chain. I'm old enough to remember when they were called Bob Merit Tyres and Exhausts. Bob's probably brown bread by now, the new regime is shyte. I only came to them again because being under warranty, if it had been the back box it would have been done F.O.C.

Och well, one hour down ...

でつ e&oe ...

[nob]

Cant say Ive heard of them, there aint none up here anyway. There's Wilo motorsave that's not too bad or one of the independent tyre shops. I took mine for its first MOT yesterday to the dealers I bought it off along with a service, they know what to charge.

[banjo]

I think I was a bit harsh to say the least in the way I characterised those guys. Take this as an admission together with the advice to take a look in the mirror. No one expects David Cassidy in his prime to be wrenching their cars, but after the sour-faced indifferent customer service, not an apology.

でつ e&oe ...

[banjo]

Pigeons.

Bl00dy pigeons. I commiserate with farmers on this one.

The bar stewards had taken to guano-ing the house alarm bell box. It's right up under the apex of the roof intended to put it out of reach from all but the most seriously determined scrote. I began routinely leaving a my old man's six metre roach pole up against the house and would creep out and whack 'em. I got one and it pirouetted down into the wistaria like a sycamore leaf, so I went inside for a step ladder to clear it away, but there was no sign of it beyond a few feathers. Then a neighbour gave me a couple of strips with spikes on bought from the recently lamented Wilco, so oop t'seven metre ladder went yer retiree hippie with some pop rivets and pliers, a cordless drill and the strips. Iined up the strips, went to drill through and collapso- the UV had got to the bell box.

I purchased a plastic junction box about 12" x 9" and figured I could mount the actual bell box (which had been inside the dummy bell box) and thus trap the new enclosure to the wall. A whole day of up and down later and dealing with a recalcitrant wiring error, I sat back with a beer as the sun began to set. I said to Best Beloved " Who's to bet that they won't just use the spikes as a convenient anchor point for a nest?"

I said to 'er indoors "no more bl00dy pigeon whacking!" as we shuffled off late this morning in the freshly exhaust renewed Nissan to take Cloud for a woof.

Ten minutes ago it was "coo coo- coo". I went outside and the little fecker was sitting up there on the spikes.

I don't care much anymore, I don't want to harm them but enough is enough. I am thinking of sitting in the VW Transporter out front and giving the blighter both barrels with me old man's pop gun, but I really don't want to harm them and I'd probably foul hook it anyway, or miss completely and pepper the new bell box enclosure with pellet holes. Even if I hit it, the spikes would probably see the carcass stuck up there meaning a ladder job to retrieve it. It's nearly eight metres up to the apex and requires a step ladder to extend the ladder fully, and rope binding around the ladder's sliding grips because it's about fifty years old and they could snap. In short, ladder access is inconvenient and unweildy.

Where's Dave with his pop guns when you want him?

In fact where is he anyway? "Job done" was it? Pfft.

でつ e&oe ...

[nob]

There's a spate of wood pigeons dying up here and there's plenty of guesses why but I don't think anyone knows really, tother year I found a dead one in one of the ponds and then all the fish died, I only assume the farmer had sprayed the field and it got contaminated.

[banjo]

The trouble is Nob, they're such gentle creatures- they don't squabble like the other birds and they don't circle overhead looking for a snack. Apart from the problems farmers face there ought to be space for them, but the spaces they go for don't sit well with peoples. A bit like grey squirrels, foxes and rats. We've started to notice magpies recently. Over the years I have found six marbles in the back farden that the worms had turned over. I put them in the fountain and one day I found another in the garden, so I took it to the fountain and they'd all gone. Over the next week I found four of them again. Pesky little critters. The squirrel has taken to denuding the holly tree, I suppose he's attracted by the red berries and then doesn't like the taste so he leaves sprigs of holly all over the garden. He's stripping the tree bare. The fox keeps shatting on top of the bag of Cloud's deposits, and we have teeny little mickies living in my scaffold tubes behind the pergola. As for slugs and snails ...

でつ e&oe ...

[nob]

Yes Steve I've notice loads of magpies around here, must have been a good year for them.

[banjo]

Just got pulled over by plod. We were turning right in a filter into the garden centre, but they motioned me across to the nearside layby just beyond. I reckon they figured I was just attempting to avoid them. They asked for my driving licence which of course I don't carry. "They" because there were eight of them. Eight FFS? I got out of the vehicle while they carried out the obligatory mini MoT. I was asked my name and address by a sallow pus-faced piece of something or the other. He said "What's your name pal?" I said "excuse me?" so he said "What's your name?" So I replied "No, what did you say before?" He repeated "What's your name pal?" So I said "I have the right to be addressed by my given and family names". Since I'd already given my name to the lady officer running the vehicle on the PNC, I asked why he wanted to know as well. He offered the opinion that he was just doing his job and he was asking "Just because I can." By now I was quietly fuming. Best Beloved asked why they had pulled us over since we hadn't contravened any law that she was aware of. The reply was that they were pulling over all vans because of criminal activities associated with vans in the vicinity, so I asked why one of them was pointing a hand-held speed gun at the passing motorists, but no answer was forthcoming. The nice young girl was super polite. The oik seriously needed training if he was intending to persue a "career" interacting with John Public. No wonder blacks get the hump because I'm willing to bet that they routinely get the raw deal from individuals like that. I looked for but couldn't see his number on his uniform, lucky for him because I would have dug my heels in over this. I'm still thinking about making a complaint, not because I expect anything, just to mire them down in unecessary paperwork and procedures. There is of course more to relate but you get the picture.

Consider this plod- you erect signs at the roadside appealing for witnesses and other assistance, you'll never get anything out of me so long as you carry on in that disgraceful fashion.

Happy daze- The Bus passed its mini MoT. We carried on and turned around the mini roundabout and went into the garden centre as originally intended.

To think that yesterday in Thatcham, a drunk pulled out of a sports club directly in front of us and took exception to my hooting by reversing back up the road to lambast me for not stopping. The windows went down and a waft of booze percolated across the gap. I said "Whatever, I have that on my dashcam which is presently backing up to The Cloud via my 'phone." Where were those effin idiots then? Are you reading this plod? Shame on you. Shame. Two pensioners going to the garden centre. Pond life William Anchors.

でつ e&oe ...

[banjo]

Reminds me of when I was a yoof probably not quite out of my teens. I got flagged down around 2-AM in my Mini. They strip searched me down to my chuddies in the back of a Sherpa van. They found a red fire alarm in the boot and assumed it was a burglar alarm. They radio'd the station where some maggot called my dad to confirm my story, but the lying piece of shyte told my dad that they had me in a cell at the station when all the while I was shivering in the back of the police vehicle. Fortunately, despite being awakened from a deep sleep, my dad confirmed the fire alarm and that I did indeed work for him and they sent me on my way.

Then there was the time in an Indian restaurant in Penge, South London. There were four of us yoofs and we'd bought a bottle of wine to go with the ruby. The waiter disintegrated the cork trying to open the bottle and pushed the remnant back into the bottle to be able to pour it, and poured out four glasses that were floating with cork fragments. Naturally we complained but they wouldn't replace the bottle so we simply didn't drink it. When the bill came, the lad in our group who lived locally took the bill and deducted the price of the wine and signed the credit card slip. They brought another so he did it again. They brought a third so he did it again. They threatened to call the police so we invited them to do that. Diners at an adjacent table lambasted us for thug behaviour citing that they were restaurateurs too and understood the restaurant's point of view. Cue the police. Two Sherpas and two pandas. Thirteen of them. They walked around lauding it up over us but we stuck to our guns and they realised we were in the right and told us to go forth and multiply. As we trooped out not having paid a penny, one of the so-called officers told us not to get in the car or the driver would be nicked for drunk driving. The driver amongst us said that it was OK because he hadn't been drinking and divvy plod c(lo)t replied "get in that vehicle and you'll be nicked." That is another example of abusing the authority associated with a peaked cap, but we realised you can't argue with The Long Arm, so we walked four miles home to the bill payer's house for a few hours kip and four miles back again in the morning to retrieve his car. Well it was "The Met" so what can you say? The same crew that printed sticky labels shouting "Don't Mess With The Met" and stuck them everywhere during the Miner's Strike. It's important that we keep this in mind as the decades dilute the memories in a tide of papering over the cracks of police / public relations.

This was a total misuse of authority. Anyone can see why black folk get the shitz with the police. As I said, whenever I see an appeal for help, I hold my nose and drive on. I have spent a lifetime walking miles through not parking on yellow lines, trying to avoid speeding, keeping my vehicles taxed, MoT'd and insured. The ball is firmly in plod's court. Yes they have a difficult job for sure, but especially in this modern interconnected era they need to stop sneering down their knebs at members of the public and goading and taunting them to respond. Wake up and smell the coffee.

でつ e&oe ...

[pierre]

Hi.Looking for some advice here.
I am being bombarded on the MSN page which is displayed on my "sign on" with adverts for "smart heater".It looks good and I have a couple of rooms which we use only for a shortish time on some days.I have also looked at adverts for a similar product from alternative sources--eg Alpha Heater
Claim-they heat a room in minutes and are very economic with electricity costs
My concern is that these sites are always making you feel that if you don't rush to buy you will miss out on initial 50% discount.

[nob]

Whats the question Pete? do you want to buy one or do they work? The pressure of the discount is to make you buy one if that's the question.

[pierre]

Hi Nob
My question is are these heaters as good as they say they are ? Have any members got one ?
I'm seeking advice-----
Peter