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Post by banjo on May 24, 2020 13:45:37 GMT
Can anyone get their head around a situation that leaves my Missus working untested for COVID19 in an operating theatre as an anaesthetics technician, yet chooses me to undergo a test via Ipsos Mori? I can't.
Anyway, should anyone be offered such a test, gather 'round. You have to be performing the test to have it ready for 8-00 AM collection by courier, except that the courier may not be able to give you a heads-up as to his or her imminent arrival. Happily, YODEL did give us a 2 hour window, so the day wasn't written off and we were able to resume dodging vacuous hoi-poloi with no grasp of how large 6'- 6&3/4" is in reality. So, I booked the courier collection yesterday and set the alarm for 07-30 this morning.
Wash (20 seconds warm water) and dry hands. (they don't instruct us idiots to do that with a clean towel ...) Break seal on swab packet. Now the juicy fun bit- rub up and down on your tonsils- both sides for 5 seconds each, but don't touch your tongue, gums or teeth because of contamination. Don't bother to try this if you wear varifocals because all you'll see is your chin, if you're lucky that is. I got my readers out, but it was still too dark in there in front of the mirror. So Best Beloved deployed my old Works inspection lamp which only dazzled me. In the end, I grabbed the lamp with my left hand and managed to get a good sample on my right hand side. The left was a different matter. Ultra gag-ola city Arizona every time. Reflux gob in the sink on both attempts. BB told me that I was supposed to have coughed first but that has nowt to do with tickling an area intended to protect against invasive FOD. I've no idea what parts of the mooth were in contact with the swab during the retreat. Gave up and proceeded to excavate the nostrils with the swab as directed. Just like coughing before hand, I forgot the bit about parping the neb first too, not that it would make any difference as a card-carrying Thames Valley Disease sufferer. Snap off the handle with the business end of the swab already in the specimen tube and get the cap on. Phew! Wash hands again. No need to bore you with the rest of the paperwork minutiae. I enjoyed the puzzle how to assemble the cardboard mailer though, so every cloud etc.
And they subject folks to this in a drive through? I wouldn't like to see the windscreens inside their cars! My "take" on this is testing is, fine- it's a very good cause. OTOH, you've all seen the DNA swabs in the cops and robbers show, gently caressing the insides of the felon's cheeks, but the invasive nature of this DIY kit is not for the feint hearted. If they need to intubate you, they give you something to prevent your gullet throwing the tube back at the medics. In fairness, they do warn that it may be uncomfortable. Discomfort I can deal with, but this was too much for me because the reaction is autonomous and involuntary. Think twice before agreeing to participate in such a survey unless a professional performs it for you. There is no free lunch it seems and the quid pro quo is that it's a debatable pleasure. I was happy to play my part, but I'm not in any hurry to repeat the experience.
Then comes the online survey that is required whether you go through with the test or not. The ubiquitous bit of poor English (incorrect pronoun) and frankly- requests for information by Ipsos Mori, the odd bit of which bore scant association with COVID19. In one section, you had to tick all the boxes of any malaise you may have or had recently. There must have been 25-odd of them at least and they covered all the little aches and pains and ailments which we take as read with advancing years, and for which the quack smiles through his or her teeth and sends you off with a flea in your cab door.
Now to sit back and wait for the results.
e&oe ...
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Post by nob on May 27, 2020 5:56:34 GMT
Well were you clear?
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Post by banjo on May 27, 2020 6:58:52 GMT
No reply yet nob. The guff said expect one week and they only collected it on Sunday. There's nowt wrong with me though, just the aches and pains collected over the decades and we can all relate to that.
Just heard on The Home Service that they have a problem testing vaccines because there aren't enough ill people! Really that should go in Dave's YCNMTU thread! Apparently there's a website calked something like "1daysooner" where you can sign up for deliberate infection to test the vaccine(s). Far queue Sir!
e&oe ...
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Post by nob on May 27, 2020 12:01:26 GMT
I heard they were testing in Brazil and places with high infections and that was from the head of AstraZeneca uk the tother day and he said theres plenty to test. They are now going to use Ebola drugs. I hope we are back to normal soon. This weather nice but you cant rely on it.
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Post by banjo on May 29, 2020 13:02:01 GMT
Just got a clean bill of health via a text message. They issued a caveat too but that's understandable really. I'd still recommend thinking twice before agreeing to self administer a test of thid nature.
e&oe ...
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Post by nob on May 30, 2020 5:12:16 GMT
 I'll let the pros do it, glad your all clear.
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Post by pierre on May 30, 2020 13:49:49 GMT
Sorry Steve,but I still would not snog you.Regardless !
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Post by banjo on May 30, 2020 14:25:08 GMT
You're not the only one Pete!
e&oe ...
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clint
Full Member
Posts: 102 
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Post by clint on Jun 12, 2020 20:41:02 GMT
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Post by nob on Jun 13, 2020 6:32:11 GMT
She was in command of TalkTalk when it got hacked, I'm still getting Indians phone me to this day. I don't think I would have given her such an important job.
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Post by banjo on Jun 13, 2020 8:04:20 GMT
She had a salary north of seven mill at TalkTalk by all accounts? Her husband is or was a tory mp on a pretty good screw too. Five Jags on the gravel I reckon? I wouldn't put her out if she was smouldering. As to that shower TalkTalk- they screwed my Pipex internet aervice and eMail. When I started with Pipex I was a "Business" client with a favourable contention ratio and a fixed IP address. No one informed me as they surreptitiously changed that status and then hiked the price up and up and up for what became a shite service all round. As I said, I wouldn't P*** on her.
But an important point to this rant is that I don't go out on the rampage just because she offended me a few years ago.
e&oe ...
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I'll let the pros do it, glad your all clear.
